Caramel Starfish 2004

Everyone I have ever spoken to about the best rallies in the North of Scotland has referred to the Caramel Starfish as "THE" rally to do.... Well we had to find out.

For this Rally I asked Big Bri to be the official F3 photographer for many reasons, but mostly coz he has a better camera, takes better photos, and usually stays more sober than me!

The usual cockups in getting to the rally saw me arrive about 2 hours after Matty, Ang and "Stevie fae fishie". Ang took Matty's car as her bike is off the road we fecked brakes. (significant) But not to be out done, found Fetternear (not that it is near feckin anything), spoke to Nige at the Hall and found out where we were pitching up the tents. Made a decision to take the bike into the park as I couldn't be arsed trying to carry my top box and tent that far... this was an okay move, but not brilliant as the holes in the ground at the gate entrance nearly caught me out... but being the hero biker that I am, I saved it and manage to park up (okay, I stuck my foot out and caught the Custard Tart before she hit the deck and carried on like I meant it).

I had managed to park the bike, but had not even gotten me helmet of before a beer was thust into my unwilling hand (yeah right!), so pitched up tent and wandered down to sign in, then couldn't find Big Brian (Barney Bear)...

He turned up about an hour later with the Good Mrs Brian (Mandy), Angela and Looby... (Bri and Mandy had to split early as they were working the next day so Mandy took the car - this will be significant later). Angela and Looby had their car as usual to transport the copious amounts of Alcohol and strange assortment of foodstuffs.... (again this is significant later.)

By now Davie (the official F3 long distance transport of beer car - important this), Matty, Ang and Stevie wer lookin for food, whilst me, Bri, Mandy and the twins were after beer.

I still have no idea who the band were on Friday, but someone might email me, as Mr T had gotten a hold of me, an' things got kinda blurry. Bloody good night by all accounts though - even through multiple power failure Thinkin or Pissed - You Decide! for the bands kit.

Saturday started off the way most rally mornings do... check body for sore bits... move gently about the tent looking for sharp or broken bits... suspect something is wrong coz there's nothing too sore, then get out of the tent. Look for Bogs, Coffee, food - in that order, then try to work out what to do!

If I have a criticism of this rally, it is that there is bugger all to do during the day, so given I was only 20 miles from home, a trip back to Chez Bob, a coffee, a fry up, a decent bog, then back to the rally to see whats what.

Saturday afternoon turned out to be fun eventually, as me an the fat boy went oot fer a wee blast on the bikes (an I got another wee go on Matty's Blackbird... NICE). Stevie couldn't join us as he had to meet his missus to sort out Maternity clothing and being kinda pregnant, Moira opted for the car as she wasn't drinkin', and goin home in the late evening (this car bits are important). Managed to meet up and head into Inverhoorie fer some food - top marks to Planet Spice for the currys.. they were brill.

Anyways, by the time we got back to the hall, the place was startin' to get goin' and Brian and Mandy turned up on Bri' 900 Perversion... Parked up, dumped their stuff, and got back to the bar with 30 mins...

After Mr T had done his damage on the friday night, I determined that I would not repeat that sillyness, so spent the night chatting to Mr Morgan... worked like a charm, and I didnae stand on anybodies feet this time (sorry about that Dom, and congrats on your CBT... not sure about the Rebel though...). All of us in good spirits, and Mandy ripping the pish outta the singer from Easily Led (sorry about the strawberries in your shoes dude), we get to the rally presentations... all I can definately remember is that Reckless Few took best club turn out... and F3 won a special award MOST PUSSIES IN CARS, which me an Mandy duely collected (ironic that we were both on bikes)... not the prize we would have wanted but a prize is a prize.

More importantly though, Stevie has a win in the Raffle!

What did he win? A Mr Blobby Video, Some Furry Handcuffs (costing 49p) and a teddy thing.

Second half of the evening was superb, good tunes, good friends, plenty of beer / Morgans / etc... a great night. Much sillyness was had by the whole crew and for a change I wasn't the most person in the place... That would either be Tam or Mags... not sure but I am sure someone can tell us... email us at whosmostpissed-f3@psychobiker.net!

Met some of the folks and put faces to names from Bikers1 chat forums: Turra Tart, Scooby, Mr Nodge, LA, etc... Nice to see some old friends, Goonz, Seth, Al, Kim, Weegie, Trish, etc....

All told I has a whale of a time, and certainly mine and all of F3's thanks go to the Caramel Starfish for making this a superb weekend. See you all next year!